Book Review: The Power of Ritual

Ritual as a Way to Reconnect

September always feels like a month of transition. The days shorten, routines shift, and we find ourselves adjusting to the new cadence of school, sports, and work. It’s a natural moment to pause and ask: what anchors us? How can we shape our time in ways that help us feel more grounded and connected?

I’ve always found a home in rituals — there’s comfort in the routine and repetition, and they create the structure for my busy brain to quiet down, even if just for a moment.

So when I saw that one of my favorite podcast hosts and scholars, Casper ter Kuile, had a new book coming out about everyday rituals, I preordered it in a heartbeat. The Power of Ritual.: Turning Everyday Activities into Soulful Practices came out in 2020 and holds powerful wisdom about the ways we connect as humans: with our communities, with our families, and most importantly, with ourselves.

Lest you think Casper ter Kuile’s writing will be too esoteric, just know that he starts the book with a description of his own personal rituals around watching “You’ve Got Mail”. No high-brow ivory tower researcher here.

Why Do Rituals Matter?

Ter Kuile is a writer, researcher, and former fellow at Harvard Divinity School. He co-founded the Sacred Design Lab, which studies how people create meaning and community in modern life. His work asks big questions: as traditional religious structures fade, what takes their place? How can we design practices that bring us back to connection, purpose, and belonging?

In The Power of Ritual, Ter Kuile highlights something many of us already sense: loneliness and isolation are everywhere. He points out that one in four Americans say they have nobody to talk to about the most meaningful things in their lives. Instead of offering quick fixes, he turns us toward everyday practices.

Ritual, he writes, is “the everyday stuff of our lives — but done with care.”

What Are Examples of Family Rituals?

That idea resonates deeply with me. For 11 years now, my son and I have had a Friday morning tradition of stopping at the local coffee shop before school for a latte (me) and a pastry (him). It started when he was about to turn six and we’re still going strong. The only difference is that now, he’s the one behind the wheel of the car.

This simple ritual has been a steady way of staying connected to my teenager. It creates a weekly space for us to connect without distractions.

Ter Kuile is clear that rituals don’t have to be complicated. And they don’t require big events or perfect timing. Instead, it’s the steady rhythm of returning to one another in ways that feel grounding that matters.

Some other examples include Lindsey Gurk’s “Chat Time!”, going out to ice cream with your spouse every time you discuss finances, or pausing for a moment of prayer before every meal.

How Can Rituals Support Daily Life?

Rituals aren’t only for families. ter Kuile explores the rituals we embrace in private and in community, addressing our connections to ourselves, our bodies, nature, and the idea of a higher power. Sabbath, rest, sacred reading, building relationships through fitness communities, prayer, and pilgrimage. No topic is off limits, and every page feels relevant to our modern world.

The commentary on prayer and pilgrimage are particularly interesting, and even a hair rebellious. To hear a divinity scholar reflect that “prayer is not what we think it is” and suggest that a simple walk around the block can help us uncover new layers of self feels like a sort of radical permission. In the right light, even the mundane becomes sacred.

How Do Rituals Help Families Find Joy Together?

Ter Kuile’s book is full of stories like these—ordinary practices that become extraordinary when we approach them with intention. Rituals help us repair, create space for vulnerability, and strengthen our sense of belonging. They give us containers for meaning in a time when so many of those containers have disappeared.

And he’s also clear that rituals and community aren’t easy fixes or simple pleasures. In fact, one of the book’s sections is titled: “Prepare Yourself: Community is Wonderful and Terrible.” This is where ter Kuile does start to sound like a religion scholar … there is no joy without challenge and no benefit without work.

There are lessons here for families seeking to embrace more ritual in their lives. We have to be willing to be open, vulnerable, and authentic in order to be in relationship with others.

As families settle into the back-to-school season, there’s no better time to think about your own rituals and where in your weeks you can carve out time for these intentional, shared experiences. Maybe it’s a weekly dinner, a shared walk, or a bedtime story (yes, even for older kids).

These family rituals aren’t about perfection; they’re about presence.

They’re about finding joy as a family in the small, repeatable moments that keep us connected.

Final Thoughts: An Invitation to Ritual

Reading The Power of Ritual felt less like a manual and more like an invitation. An invitation to notice the things we’re already doing and see them as opportunities for deeper being.

In May, I had the privilege to hear Casper speak at the Salisbury Forum. His talk was specifically about covenants and how ancient wisdom can transform our relationships. After the talk, we chatted briefly about how rituals and covenants can shape the relationships between families and institutions, and between parents and their kids.

This month, I’ll be diving deeper into those themes exploring how family agreements can serve as covenants, how small rituals can ripple out in big ways, and how intentional practices can transform not just our homes, but also our work. But if you’re looking for a place to begin, start with The Power of Ritual. It may just change the way you see the ordinary moments of your life.